SG Cordray Pondering the Universe

Ocassionally, I look at the stats to see what search terms are popping up. The title above was one of them so that tells me someone is having problems.

The type of problems that might be encountered with woohooing are typically from plugins or barring those, relationship issues.

Check your plugins to make sure they are installed properly and not interfering with something else. I had one that took was so incompatible it took away the options for woohooing under any circumstances.

If you have no plugins installed watch the relationship meters. If one of them is angry at the other one they won’t woohoo until the angry meter gets below a certain point. If they are really angry they won’t even sleep in the same bed. I’m not exactly clear on how low that meter has to get. Some of the info on that kind of thing is not very clear.

Everytime something momentous happens on a particular site visitors flock here as if somehow, some way I had something to do with it.

Late May until about midJuly I sunk about as low as a person could. People I thought were friends, weren’t. Around midJuly I just went numb. I couldn’t have cared less about anything or anyone, including myself. A person can’t not feel forever, so the numbness wore off eventually, too. I became cynical and resisted any thought of anything that wasn’t cynical or sarcastic. There was quite a bit of anger, too. Rather than deal with those feelings, I immersed myself in game playing, putting a wall between me and the rest of the world.

Then something happened that showed me what I was doing wasn’t working. Opportunities were being given me to do things differently and I ignored them. This year seemed to be nothing but one mess after another and absolutely no growth in personal life or business. This last month I started talking to people again, that is, people besides my husband, daughters, son, and grandsons. 

I had started playing internet spades for awhile, thinking maybe if I meet some new people I would get out of this funk I’m in. Playing internet spades I met all kinds. I met those who are obnoxious just because they can be without fear and I met those who took the game so seriously they couldn’t handle being set with their bids or losing a nil bid or anything other than a total annihilation of their opponents. And I realized I could be just like them.

People can create and recreate themselves many times over on the internet. I could be anything or anyone I choose to be on the internet. The “character” is only as large, or as small, as your imagination. I’ve seen it happen with many people during the years I have spent on the internet. I’ve also seen how some are crushed when reality catches up. It’s something I never bought into.

I’ve always viewed people who create unrealistic personnae of themselves on the internet as very unhappy in real life. In my case it turned out to be true whether it is true for everyone else or not. I thought if I changed me, then it would be alright. People don’t take advantage of self centered people. It’s the self centered people who do the taking advantage of others. However, being such a person was making me unhappy and the more I fell into that role the more unhappy I became.

When the furor was strong over that particular site, people ridiculed me over every little thing I said, everything I have done, and more. They created a personna for me, claiming that I was something I am not and never have been. They called my husband a “bald-faced liar” and my “boy toy”, many of them trying to outdo one another with just how badly could they treat another person. Politics and perceived power seem to win every time. I’ve never sought position in either. They harped on the fact I am a nobody. I never pretended otherwise. I wonder if it ever occurred to them that I might be their definition of somebody pretending to be nobody. I’m not a somebody but it does make a nice little “what if…”, doesn’t it?

I’m just me. I used to be a kind person always willing to help anyone it was within my power to help without expecting anything in return. I liked me a whole lot better as that person than the one I became so I reverted to type. As I turned toward facing and accepting the real me, things started to change. Positive things are happening once again to offset the negatives and the stagnation. Will people take advantage of me? Most certainly. It’s inevitable. But… that’s their problem, not mine. They have to live with themselves, just as I have to live with myself and I’d rather be happy being me than unhappy trying to be something I’m not because I’m afraid of being taken advantage of.

So, whatever is going on with that particular site has nothing to do with me and hasn’t for months. I’ve never been back to that site since the incident. Whatever it is these visitors are expecting to find here, I’m afraid they’ll be disappointed. Most of the future content on this site will be Sims2 related, except for the occasional sidebar such as this one. I’ve had to take a break from game playing because… well… real life still has to be dealt with and it’s a busy time of the year. I’ll get back to it when things slow down again, :-).